Being Misunderstood. And Tired.

Oh my god do I have to be triggered to write a non-beauty post? I’ve planned writing a post on my connection with the hit book-then-movie Call Me By Your Name, but for some reason I “chickened out”. The story played a big part in my youth, I felt like I’d need more than just a free couple of hours and my laptop to talk about the subject. Call Me By Your Name is a beautiful creation, I want to do it justice even just to ramble about it.

Or maybe I was just too busy, and I am on denial mode.

Being misunderstood. I finally know what it feels like. You might think I’m talking about an ugly recent domestic conversation, but no. My little-over-a –year marriage is as realistically-perfect as a warm rosehip tea after a bitter chocolate dessert. We say please, kiss and hug to get something from the other. We don’t “fight” longer than a 30 minutes-long car ride until we makeup.

But recently I feel like I’m being misunderstood on a professional level. I am afraid some people have thought I faked my loyalty to take advantage out of a trust, to benefit myself.

being-misunderstood-2

I cried on my way home last Friday. I couldn’t stand the thought that I’ve been misunderstood. And even worse, when these people confronted me about the matter, I might have come out with a poor argument that failed to convince them that hey, you’re wrong. It’s totally not what you think.

Or more like You guys really think I am capable of such intention? Like, you guys really think I’m that evil and shallow?

Boy, was I hurt.

I’m pretty sure a lot of people can relate to this scenario. My current scenario, unfortunately:

You’ve been working so hard, giving all you’ve got, and still somehow it’s not enough. Even worse, you’ve been feeling busy. Just busy, not productive-busy. Then you start to break and your peer judge the moment from how it affects them, not how it mentally and physically affects you.

Google “being misunderstood”, and you’ll find lots of great tips and sharing from people on how to cope with such situation. I read some, and it helps. A lot of people have experienced what I experience, and they could come out of the situation as a big-hearted adult.

Sorry for this vague-vibed post. It’s just one of those knots in my chest that I can’t pour into a poem, and there’s no way I’d ramble about it on Instagram/ Facebook like some 12 YO.

Ever felt the same? You’re welcome to share down below.

Love, Annetta.

Images sources: Giphy

3 thoughts on “Being Misunderstood. And Tired.

  1. Dear Our Big Sis – Annetta,

    Tbh, I’m afraid that i misunderstood this post, too. I’m not that smart and fluent in english hehe 😦
    But i got the point, ketika ada kesalahpahaman terutama pada professional level. I ever felt the same, and I couldn’t cope it wisely. Like, aku masih ngegerutu dalam hati, masih koar koar di sosmed (close friend only with 8-10 people) tapi aku diem sih hehe ngga memberontak atau gimana, jeleknya aku, aku ga pernah bisa membela diri, selalu berpikir “yaudahlah, aku ngga mau masalah tambah besar”. so i went away, but if it happens to my inner circle, paling aku nanya why terpikir begitu, dan aku jelasin yg sebenernya.

    But, most of times. Setiap ada kekeliruan atau aku ada masalah sama satu temen (si temen ini ngajak temen lainnya, udh kayak abg) aku biarin aja, waktu akan menunjukkan kebenarannya. Alhamdulillah, they know the truth now, tapi aku ngga dendam sama sekali sama si temen yang ada masalah dgnku ini, malah kasihan kalau orang lain tau yg sebenernya kalau dia manfaatin aku dan dia dijauhi. Krna she told my whole class that she’s the victim, dia yg ngerasa dimanfaatin. *ok, ini jadi curhat *

    How to cope with it? I’ll take a break. I love love love drawing and painting, and chilling in a cafe just to see other people activities (ngeliat orang ngobrol, ngeliat yang sendirian, ngeliat yg kerja, they have unique expressions).

    Since the day i met you, i knew you are a nice and great woman. I like how you greet me and talking to me when i felt like i was on a strange place. I like to observe other people hehehe.

    Semangat! You did your best, kak. You are amazing! Percaya aja kalau niat yang baik, akan berbuah baik, eventually.

    P.s: i apologise for my lack of grammar and vocab, oh and my “gado-gado” language for this comment :(( *i guess this is why i didn’t get any job hehehehe

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I conceal all my emotion at the office and pour it to “memes-jokes” session and loud music in my earphone. Being misunderstood? well on the daily basis.
    my face is fierce so that people think I’m that rude cruel girl, even one of my ex-close friend (I stop call her friend and start the term “work-approximate-acquaintance” since she always said she thinks I’m frightening or intimidating people (especially men), rarely supportive, and hate everything which is different from what she thinks should be (e.g. I like bearded man, she said it is frightening, like what the actual heck? I actually even think your man is like agar-agar but I won’t judge it out loud since it is your choice, none of my business).
    I keep it for my self since none understand how sometimes I think out of the box in the most unconventional way.
    So one of my co-workers sometimes start rumors and it seems supported by my behavior and my face even when I don’t do or say anything, just because I’m silent and carefree about the rumor, they put a sticker “approved” on such rumors, there where they misunderstand me.
    But hey little fighter, eventually the truth will come sooner or later. So now I’m in my zen mode since I think if what they said was right then I don’t have any right to be mad since it was right, and if it is wrong then I save the knowledge that they are wrong and things were not the way they said. Again, you are not paid to argue with them. Cheer up!

    Like

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